


Strong Medecine

by Caroaimezoe



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Male Slash, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 00:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19860475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Since Master Splinter's death, Leo isn't the same.





	Strong Medecine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alessa_DC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alessa_DC/gifts).



Master Splinter was dead. In fact, he had died ten months ago. An expected death at a respectable age, according to Donatello. Their Sensei was old, very old, at the point where he himself didn’t even remember his own age anymore. In his last moments, he was almost completely blind. He had tried to hide this fact, probably to not worry them, but it was foolish when someone as observant as Donatello was his son. And, well, the thirty pounds or so lost in a few months was a huge give away that something was wrong.

At one point, he was so bad that Donatello gave him ‘vitamins’, with a carefully not-over-concerned expression on his face. Donatello knew there were no vitamins against getting old and cancer like he was sure Master Splinter was suffering, but morphine could help to calm his pain down. Donnie couldn’t tell the truth or insist too much, without his father denying or his brothers’ worry increasing a hundredfold. So, he kept the knowledge inside of himself, and his brothers (so fearless in fights) were too scared to press the matter.

To be honest, their Sensei dying had been a relief, because the suffering of a loved one was very draining to see. It was like his pain had an echo into them, aching inside of them down to the bone.

There was then the mourning period. Donatello knew grieving was normal and there was no specific timeframe for when it would be over. Mourning Master Splinter a few months wasn’t unhealthy, and Donatello knew that everyone has his own coping mechanism, and he had tried to be respectful. He himself had been quieter the first months, keeping himself busy with work, and upgrading their vehicle and the lair security. The health of his brothers was also now a priority for him. Check-ups weren’t every three months anymore, but twice a month now and more careful. But after three months of running like a guinea pig in his wheel, only exhausting himself, Donatello had slowly fallen back into his routine, except for the medical check-ups. Mikey and Raph had turned to their normal self around the same time. Mikey gradually stopped eating tons of sweets and Raph stopped going topside to bash skulls and drink away his sorrow. That Leo was still grieving didn’t bother them at first. The eldest had always had the closest relationship with their father, and the leader’s nature was to keep his emotions inside of him. But now, Don wasn’t sure if it was a healthy way to cope.

Every day, Leonardo had a routine. He woke up as early as before, and had tea in his father’s bedroom instead of the kitchen. At first, they had let Leo do as he wishes without any curiosity, but Mikey had confirmed that Leo was ‘talking’ with their father. Donatello had said it was a normal expression of the mourning process and to let Leo be.

After tea, Leo started training early, and then supervised his brothers during a group training session. The leader was more demanding than before, but they could guess that since Leo had more responsibilities, he wanted to fulfill them and live up to his father’s expectations.

After training, Leo returned to Master Splinter’s room, probably discussing the training and wondering about the eternal problem of Mikey’s lack of focus.

Then, it was cleaning time, tasks that kept Leo busy for hours. With almost religious care, Leo cleaned the room, putting down each item the exact way it was before. He refused to be helped in this task, arguing that the others would do it wrong. To be careful in cleaning up wasn’t that concerning, but scrubbing the room completely every day was exaggerating. Moreover, their father’s urn was there, and it was impossible to see it alone. Leo talking like he was the only one allowed to pay his respects to their father was upsetting for them.

But last week, Leo had crossed the line. Raph had attempted to enter the room after training, before Leo got there, and when Leo’s outraged yell startled him, he broke a cup from their Sensei’s tea service. The two brothers got into such a vicious fight, and Leo had shouted such terrible things, that Raph had decided to live at Casey’s for a while. He had told Donatello that he would come back only when ‘Fearless would be himself again.’ It was obvious that Raph was far more shaken than angry with Leo and he wanted to run away from it since it wasn’t a situation he could settle with his fists. It was as bad as when their father had been ill. Leo was ill too, in his mind, and Raph loved Leo too much to see the brother he knew “die” in front of him. Donatello had given his blessing. Raph was too far emotional to deal with Leo.

Meanwhile, to console Leonardo who was going mad repeating that it won’t be the same anymore with this broken cup, Don had found a replica on eBay. Leo wasn’t happy with it, but he had stopped talking about it or hurting himself with the broken shards - or at least he was conscious enough to hide the cutting under his wrist band again. It wasn’t that much of an improvement.

In the evening, after Leo drank the herbal tea that Donnie spiced with some sleeping pills, Mikey and he had a talk about what they could do. In their situation, a therapist wasn’t possible, and despite what Michelangelo could say, Don was far better with machines than living being. The fact that Leo could have developed such severe behavior without Donatello noticing before was very telling. Leonardo would refuse pills and even refuse to recognize something was wrong, so there were very few possibilities.

They had tried to determine what in the death of Master Splinter had made the biggest void in Leonardo’s life. Finding what it was would help them to fill it. After having discussed how they had a similar interest about Ancient Japan, a field not of them was very fond of, Mikey found the solution.

“Why not ask Usagi, then?” Mikey proposed. “They share a lot of things, from swords to bushido and ancient Japanese traditions.”

Donatello glanced quickly to his brother, keeping his face neutral the best that he could. The fact was that he had thought about the ronin too, but for a reason that Mikey should remember, he hadn’t suggested it.

“Weren’t you jealous of Usagi?”Donnie finally asked. “You were the one telling us that Usagi admitted he was pursuing Leo as a love interest, and he warned us he was about to make a move. You told him Leo didn't return his feelings, which was such an obvious lie.”

Mikey looked away, flustered.

“Okay, yes I admit it, I was pissed. So what? You were too, Donnie!” Mikey exclaimed. “And Raph, even more. We all thought it was a bad idea. It would have messed with the team and the family!”

Don nodded. He had thought the same. If Leo left they would fall apart.

“Anyway, he never gots to tell Leo because Sensei got sick right around then, and Leo was too busy and worried for romance,” Mikey continued. “But now, I think…”Mikey looked up, his big blue eyes full of tears. “I this it would be better for Leo to go away and be happy than be trapped here in depression or whatever he has. I learned that from Master Splinter, too. Loving someone means also having to let them go, bro.”

They stayed silent one moment, each of them conscious that what would follow would change their lives.

“Thank you, Mikey,” Don said, very moved. “I don’t know if I would have the courage to do that if you hadn’t spoken first. Let’s get Usagi.”

***

The ronin didn’t take long to convince after they explained the situation to him. Usagi didn’t bring up Leo’s supposed lack of interest toward him, but said he would handle the situation and help the best he could for ‘his dear Leonardo’s sake.’

Back to the lair, Don didn’t know if he was relieved or envious at the moved expression on Leo’s face when he saw his samurai friend. The rabbit asked to see their father’s remains, and Leo couldn’t refuse. Usagi bowed respectfully to the urn of their father, and Mikey and Donnie took the opportunity to sneak behind them to also pay their homage.

“My friend, can I have some tea?” Usagi asked after Leo showed one of Master Splinter’s tea cups.

Leo’s hesitation was obvious, but he nodded. When the tea was ready, he was willing enough to drink it with Usagi in Master‘s Splinter bedroom, to be in private with his friend, in a Japanese atmosphere that could only please Usagi.

“Well, if I could have known that the only thing he wanted was someone to drink tea with,” Mikey commented bitterly from the place they were hidden. “I’d have put on my ballgown and opera gloves and stuck out my pinky.”

“Shush! It's too late now. We made our decision. Where’s that ‘let it go,” motto of yours?” Don sneered, even if he found it infuriating how easily Usagi accomplished what they failed to do. “It won’t have been the same anyway. You’ve loudly hated tea since you were a child, and complained loudly about the smell of it at least a thousand times. Leo wouldn't have filled Master Splinter’s cup for you to spit it out.”

Leo and Usagi left the room to wash their cups and Don and Mikey hastily faked being engrossed in a TV show.

“Since I’m here for a few days, would it be possible for me to stay here? I hate to impose, I can sleep in any room you choose.” Usagi asked the leader. Don was gaping. It was a very bold move, but so clever.

“Raph’s is free for now…”Leo started, hesitating and flushed, probably remembering why Raph had left.

“Raphael could come back at any time!” Don retorted, putting his two cents in even if nobody was talking to him. “If he comes back in the middle of the night and someone else is in his bed, he’ll be beyond furious. You know how territorial Raph can be,” Donnie added with a straight face, even if Leo had demonstrated stronger territorial qualities than Raphael.”With the state your relationship with him is in, I suggest you not use his room.”

Usagi blinked once slowly, to show Donnie his appreciation for his help.

“That leaves only Leo’s or Sensei’s room,” Mikey said, his voice a little too clipped, regretting to suggest it, but living up to his generous nature.

“There also the couch or the cot from the lab,” Leo added quickly, his nervousness very apparent, but Mikey faked shock at the suggestion.

“Bro! How could you? Do you want him to leave? That could work for an emergency, but not for a close friend who plans to stay two weeks at least…”Mikey protested.

“Or more.” Usagi spoke these words in a soft voice, but the intent was clear and Don fidgeted. The rabbit was in the lair and wouldn’t move until he gets what he wanted. Donatello shared a glance with Mikey. Leo’s mental health was worth it.

But Leo looked like he was caught between a rock and a hard place, wanting to accommodate his friend out of politeness but unable to let go of his mania. From another side, he had enough instinct to know that having Usagi in his room was letting the rabbit in, and surely he knew it would probably lead to something that had been interrupted by their Sensei’s illness.

But it wasn’t only that, Don noticed, narrowing his eyes and watching Leo closely. Seeing how nervous he was, always glancing at their faces, the genius figured it out. Leo was afraid they would judge him. There was an easy solution that nobody had spoken aloud: Usagi could sleep in Leo’s bedroom and Leo in Master Splinter’s. Leo probably knew that, but he refused to acknowledge the option. Was Leo also tired of how things were, but unable to break the cycle of behavior, concerned it could be seen as a lack of respect for his deceased father? He had opened up to Usagi because he was feeling less guilty at pausing what he felt the work of mourning must be. Leo only needed a push, Donnie decided.

“I’ll cuddle up with Usagi, no problem,” Mikey declared boldly, reading Don’s thought and the genius couldn’t help but be proud of his little brother. “I bet he’d be like a big Teddy Bear.”

“Your room is disgusting, Mikey - I wouldn’t wish that on an enemy. Scratch that, I’m adding “sleepover in Mikey’s room” to our list of interrogation techniques.” Donatello sighed and ran a hand over his brow. “Leo, I hate to make you the responsible one again, but can you share your room with our guest? Just for the sake of good manners.”

All eyes were on Leo, who finally nodded with such a bright blush that Don had a thought for poor Raph who was missing the show. Well, it might be a blessing. Raph had strongly disagreed with Usagi’s desire to court Leo.

“Let’s go to bed,” Usagi said and before Leo could have the time to second-guess he took his hand, dragging him in Leo’s bedroom.

At the first moan, about one hour later and after some sobbing coming from Leo’s room, Don and Mikey bolted to the sound-proof lab.

“Physical love is well-known to help with depression by releasing endorphins,” Donatello explained gloomily. “Tomorrow, Leo might feel much better, and we’ll have to be happier than we are now.”

“And what about Raph? You know he isn’t Usagi’s biggest fan. Won’t he be pissed at us?”

Don took his brother into his arm, snuggling him.

“Raph will be glad as soon as he sees Leo’s smile,” he explained in a very comforting manner. “Because he loves Leo as much as we do.”

The next morning, Leo’s bedroom eyes were very telling about how he had spent his night. It was a little upsetting, but Don and Mikey couldn’t help but share a victorious grin when Leo canceled practice and decided his hips were too sore to clean their Sensei’s bedroom. Of course, he didn’t say that, but his walk was giving him away.

The more the week went by, the less Leo went into their father’s bedroom. Until the point that, besides a bow and a few minutes of silence in front of the urn, Leo didn’t enter the room anymore. The house settled down enough that Raphael came back. Neither Leo nor Usagi were the kind of people who indulged in public displays of passion, to the point that Raph only found out about the change when Mikey took him apart and suggested he plug his ears before sleeping. Raph cursed and kicked pieces of furniture but he didn’t voice his anger to either Leo or Usagi.

And the next morning, Raph was the one who offered to vacuum the room of their Sensei, permission that Leo granted with a genuine smile.

“Thank you, Raph,” Leo said.

The hot head grumbled not to mention it since it was only a ten minute vacuum, but Don knew Raph wasn’t fooled. He hadn’t been thanked for the chore, but for accepting Usagi.


End file.
